Breath in... breathe out. Repeat forever.
PAST CHANGE.
I'm laughing at myself this morning because I am remembering how much has changed in just two weeks for myself and my family. I recall this same blitz of change has occurred before.
In 2014, I got a job promotion, then moved (in state). Two months later we got married and five months later I received another job promotion. But this one was all the way in San Francisco, so we moved again. Big moved. After two years, we "big moved" back to North Carolina. We all were homesick, wanted a slower pace of life and to be nearer to our family. But this was all on us, no packers, or movers, or planes. It was a family journey across the country with Tim driving a huge loaded truck pulling our Mustang convertible Gigi, two dogs with Tyler and I following.
STUCK.
Flash forward from 2017 until fall of 2020. We are in the middle of a pandemic, we are isolated. I was the only one working outside our home. Tim, my smart and kind husband has been laid off and could not find a job. Then there was me. I had made no in person friends here. I was at a full time office job, where I endured a long commute each day. I listened to my favorite motivational podcasts so truthfully the drive was the best part of my day. That's pretty f'ed up to write but it's true. So needless to say this job was not the best use of my skills. Everyday I could think of twenty or more things I could be doing that would be a better use of my time but I had to work. I wasn't thrilled but I was doing what had to be done, wasn't I? I had turned into a person that was terrible at troubleshooting and making things work- easier, faster, better. SO. NOT. ME. We've all been there right? I needed to break free.
NEW CHANGE.
After Tyler decided not to go back to working at the internship he started in spring, which was also not the best use of HIS skills, he spent the summer- very busy - building and selling his repurposed palletwood furniture. It was the best summer he ever had, we believe because everyone was at home and they were sprucing up their homes and yards. Tyler and I decided to make a few decorative items to sell online. So this meant that I was gone ALL day long and then worked at night until my eyes crossed.
Also there was a local marketplace (that I drove past twice a day Monday - Friday) that hosted vendors and food trucks on Saturdays and we decided to give that a try. Frankly, we had to make it work because it was paying half of our bills. I was tired but extremely motivated by the creative process. The thing about creativity is that you need TIME to be creative.
(Note the bags under my eyes and the pitch black dark of night!)
DECISION MAKING IS BACK!
The success of our Etsy store as well as our Saturdays at The Community Marketplace during the holiday season last year helped reacquaint me with what brings me joy.
I really enjoy interacting with people. I love managing a business, helping others succeed, creating goals, being organized, prepping for events, overcoming obstacles, and generally making things better. My positive attitude was returning!
The joy of my life is my son Tyler and being able to help him reach his potential is my passion. I had several inspiring messages from friends about Tyler's and my relationship and the success of our business. These people brought me all the way back and it was just what I needed to hear. I am forever grateful to these illuminating and generous ladies. Tim also has landed his dream job, working as a general manager. He is gone all week and it is working out beautifully.
So I left my job of four years...just two weeks ago. Yep, sure did.
RELAX GIRL.
With this bit of back-story I can now explain to you why I am laughing at myself this morning. This week I had the opportunity to be a guest on a podcast about Unschooling/Homeschooling. I'll be sure to share it when it is published. Having that flowy and real conversation reminded me that one of the things that was most crucial in Tyler's success was the ability to know when it was time to work, and when is was time to relax...even if the relaxing looked like laziness. I always called it his marinating time. We both became quite proficient in identifying those times where things just seemed harder than they should be, or you felt out of sorts a bit- that was our cue to let it be. Go do something else, or nothing else really.
EVERYTHING IS JUST FINE.
We work hard at our business. He is a beast, doing physical labor or sourcing pallets, breaking them down, milling the wood, shopping, cleaning up, and he helps us so much around the house. Unfortunately I am a Type A, Assertive/Protagonist so I dig in after it like there is no tomorrow. That is just who I am. There is a lot of good in that but in order for us to really get into a good workflow here at home, I'm going to have to stop behaving like I need to "catch up" or finish everything before tomorrow. I'm still learning to enjoy being at home with Tyler. It has been my deepest desire to be here with him for many years. I have other projects, important ones, that have fell off my radar because of not having enough time. Well, now I have the time to do them all, or at least give them some consistent attention. Keeping the mindset that I have time for those things now is so hard! I am trying, and I will get there. Our new way of living is morphing and changing daily. I was so fortunate to meet with some new friends for lunch yesterday, like really in person, and I mentioned how things were not how I had planned. We all laughed and Samantha said, "They never are the way we plan, for any of us, are they?"
Truest words ever.
